Blessings

So, today has been one of those "poor pitiful me" and glass of wine kind of days.

I woke up exhausted because NK woke up three times during the night last night, which isn't like her at all.

My milk supply has been dropping  which always gets me stressed out because I am not quite ready to switch to formula yet.

Norah Kate was having a clingy day today and I know that she was feeding off of my energy.  I was grumpy to say the least.  I napped with her every time she slept today and have been eating like crazy and drinking plenty of fluids trying help out my milk supply.  My plan was to pump every two hours, but she would not let me put her down hardly any today and when I did she was fussy.

I go to dayshift Friday which has me a little stressed out I think.  I have no clue why I am stressed about that, but I have been having nightmares about my transition for a couple of weeks now.  I am also really restless when I am sleeping.  I keep waking up really panicked feeling in the middle of the night.

By the time Matt got home tonight I was practically in tears and very frustrated. I sit down to blog about my troubles and almost have to laugh at myself.  I have so much to be thankful for... so instead of whining about what may being going wrong, I am going to list things that are going right.

1. I have a beautiful, healthy daughter who has my whole entire heart!  Even on the days she is clingy and whiney, I need to embrace the fact that she wants me and is dependent on me right now.  I need to stop being so darn selfish because there will be a day where she don't want anything to do with me.
2. My husband loves me.  God bless him, because I know that I am a hormonal nagging mess. So for him to still love me and call me beautiful is just a blessing in its self.  Even if he don't pick up his dirty dishes or mow the grass... he puts up with my craziness and is a WONDERFUL father!  So many woman are married to complete butts that are lazy and do drugs or drink and are emotionally or physically abusive.  My hubby is a wonderful provider and has a loving heart.
3. I have a supportive and loving family.  I am so close with both Matt's family and my own. My mama is my best friend, and I don't know what in the world I do without all of them!
4. I have a JOB!  Not to mention, I have a job that is for the most part rewarding; a job that I enjoy going to on most days.
5. I am healthy!  No illness that I wake up and face every day.  Thank you God!
6. I have a beautiful home.  I am so proud to have a roof over my head and absolutely love our house!
7. I have a bright future and many things to look forward to.  Unlike a lot of people in todays time, there is no reason for me to dread tomorrow.

I look on Facebook and see a lot of people who post about how miserable they are and rant and nag about their husbands or their kids and I NEVER want to be that person!  I hope that even on my worst days I can be optimistic.  I have sooo much to be grateful for, and could kick myself now for even feeling sorry for myself today.

Being wife is hard, being a mother is harder, but you could not give me any amount of money in the world for me to trade places!  Count your blessings and you may just realize how good you got it :)

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful" Proverbs 15:13

Thanks for listening!

It's a Love Story

This past weekend we celebrated my husband's grandparents 70th wedding anniversary.  Amazing!  That truly is a lifetime of love.  I felt so honored to even witness such an occasion.  It inspired me to blog about mine and Matt's little love story.



The Bride & Groom



I am not going to go on and on about how it was love at first sight, and so on.  We are not a really mushy gushy couple and I don't talk about how we came about to often.

Matt and I met through a mutual friend when we were in the tenth grade.  He caught my eye that night.  Something about his quietness, and those blue eyes.  I can't remember now how we ever got on that first date, if he called me, or I called him... I guess it don't really matter now.  Anyhow, I remember my mom taking me shopping that day so I could have something cute to wear.  I also remember Matt being late... haha... that should have been a sign there.  He had to work and was like an hour late.  I thought he had stood me up.  We went on a double date to a little country restaraunt.  Matt and I "talked" for a few weeks after that, and kept in touch through high school, but it never turned into anything serious.  We went to different high schools so it wasn't like we saw each other every day, and I eventually started dating someone else.

I didn't know Matt was the one I wanted to marry, but I knew I wanted to marry someone like him.  He was always so hardworking, and I think that is what I admired most about him.  At sixteen years old, to work as hard as he did, is something to speak about.  Matt called me during my first semester of college and said he thought we should go on another "first" date.  I was going through a break up at the time and didn't really know if I wanted to start dating anyone else.  I finally decided that I should give it another try, but then it took almost another month to get Matt to take me out!  What?!  I thought he wanted to go on another date.  Matt always played a little bit "hard to get."  Anyways... we went to a Halloween party for our second "first" date.  I primped and primped in front of the mirror and changed outfits a dozen or more times.  I was so excited!  I don't think either of us really knew that it was going to be the first night of our lifetime together :)

That night, something did spark, or it did for me atleast, but I wasn't sure about it.  Things were on and off between us for the next six months.  It was that next summer that I realized he was the one I wanted to marry.  I just couldn't picture the rest of my life without him.  I had visited Auburn University school of veterinary medicine,  (I was a Chemistry major with intentions of going to vet school), and I was working in a vet's office.  On the way home from Auburn, I just had this bittersweet feeling... it just didn't feel right.  I couldn't imagine going there (or anywhere for that matter) without him and I knew we couldn't pick up the farm and move it to Alabama.  I was only 20 years old though, did I really know what I wanted? 

I remember the night I told my daddy I was changing my major to nursing.... He knew he was in trouble then.  Even though I wouldn't come right out and say it, I think he knew I was bit by the love bug.  He told me I was NOT getting married until I finished school.  I would have married Matt that summer, had he asked me, but he respected my daddy's wishes.  He proposed to me the December before I graduated and we got married the following October.  I have three days in my life that make me get a little emotional every time I think about them... the day Matt proposed, the day we got married, and the day I gave birth to my baby.  I don't think anything else can top those three days!



Even though our love story  is not like something you see in theatres or read in a book, it is ours... He is my other half....  God created him special for me and I couldn't imagine my life without him.  I have no regrets about changing my major or career path.  Even from the time I was a little girl, I knew regardless of anything else, I wanted to be a wife and mother.  Just like I thank God every night for my little girl, I thank Him for my husband also.  Matt is a wonderful provider, a loving husband, and a great father.  Seeing him with Norah Kate makes me love him that much more.  Even though there are always things that get on my nerves, make me mad, or just plain drive me crazy, there are so many more things that make me smile, make my heart melt, and make me love him that much more.  Dirty laundry, dirt tracks in the back door, and shaving cream in the sink isn't enough to make me search for something better, because I know I wouldn't find it. 

People can be so negative about marriage and discouraging.  They tell you how hard it is.  I don't know many things in life that come easy, being a mother is difficult, being a wife is harder, but I would not trade either for anything, my life wouldn't be worth living if I did!  My husband and my daughter are just a part of who I am.  I pray that we are blessed enough to have 70 more years together!  Thank you Grandma and Papa for sharing your special day with us, and more importantly for setting a wonderful foundation for your children and grandchildren!  We love you!

"What ever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." -Emily Bronte

Here we go...

As if motherhood isn't enough of  a challenge for me, I have decided that I would try and start a blog.  I have always attempted to keep a diary and will do good for a week to a month, then get busy and quit writing.  I feel like with the daily changes my baby girl  makes I want to remember how I felt: the happiness, the love, the unknown, the exhaustion, the good & bad- everything.

So far, being a mommy has been the greatest and hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I would not trade it for anything in the world though.  The moment she was born, something changed in me.  My heart expanded to create room for a love so big and great that words cannot describe. 

Through out this blog I hope I can offer advice for other first time moms.  They can learn as I learn, so to say.  I came into this experience having no clue what it would be like and learn something new each and every day.  I plan to write about the every day "going-ons" in my life: motherhood, work, marriage.  So here is to trying something new, learning, and growing :)